"Look out, its gonna start raining."

...commented one guest as my uncle and aunt Laurence and Sioux Eaglefeather started dancing. But before I entertain you with the details of the wedding it should be noted that it was a lovely wedding with few real problems. The flowers were beautiful, the weather was awesome, and the bride was stunning. What I am about to tell you might make it sound like a circus, but in reality no one person would ever have noted all that was going on. I had a great time even as a bridesmaid, and so did everyone else. That said, on with the parade!

First off, poor Kenny (my new brother-in-law). During the ceremony all the wedding party came in and then a new song came on for Terri and my dad to walk down to. So we wait and wait and the song comes. And plays. And plays. The bridesmaids start whispering, Kenny starts to squirm. Finally, when all hope seemed to be lost, we were able to make out some white dress passing through the trees far away. So we pass the word up to Kenny just before he's about to pass out or cry or something. Poor kid told us later he thought he had been stood up. Actually the coordinator just was slow about telling Terri and my dad to start walking. And according to my dad, Terri just about hyperventalated cause she was so nervous about everything going off as planned.

Then there were little panics of the ceremony. The little pillow that the ring bearer carries didn't actually have the real rings on it, the best man and maid of honor actually had them. However, the rings that were on the pillow were deceptive. Terri's mom had put one of her big sparkly diamond rings on it along with a random ring of Terri's. So the best man looks down at the pillow and freaks out thinking he's got the rings mixed up. Fortunately he figured it out in time.

During the reception questions started being asked. "Who are the Indians?" Those are relatives of mine, though I should have denied it...they actually sat on Kenny's side. Just so you get a better idea of what I'm talking about, Laurence has long black hair that he ties back, was wearing a leather fringy vest thing with bear claw necklaces and bones, with a big something like a cow skull hanging around his neck made of bone and turquoise. Sioux had a similar ensemble, though a little more feminine and with less bear claws. To make matters worse, Laurence isn't one for smiling. So I would see him walking around with this grave face and he looked like he would pull out a tomahawk at any second.

Then there was the women's restroom and one drunken guest that will remain nameless. My grandmother and one of the bridesmaids, Sarah, were in there at the same time as this one lady. Suddenly she starts yelling in her rhaspy voice "Sarah! Sarah! You have to help me! Sarah! I dropped my dress in the toilet!" The rhaspy, drunken yelling continued for some time. Finally she comes crawling out under the stall door half naked still yelling "Sarah! My dress fell in the toilet! Help me!" She gets out and precedes to take her dress off and stand naked in the bathroom as she washes her dress off in the sink. All the while different people are coming in and out and she continues to yell for Sarah, and I have not heard report that she ever helped her at all. I don't blame her.

I was busy figuring out who I was related to. Kenny's side of the family is similar to Terri's. His parents are divorced and have been each married more than once (more than twice?) and have children. My dad made a chart so he could keep track and showed it to us before the rehearsal dinner so we could be prepared. Terri's mom has been married three times. My dad is married to my mom and was at one time married to Terri's mom. Terri's mom has a son who was a groomsman and he was the son of her second husband and he was at the wedding. So Joey, Terri's mom's son, is my sister's brother, but is not my brother. I met my sister's brother's father's sister, she was nice.

There was much more that happened but I think I'll finish this off with the bouquet toss. Obviously everyone wants to catch it, but there are those that you think ought to and those that ought not. Katie, one of the bridesmaids, dressed in pink and looking lovely was the one to catch it and she was one that ought to catch it. But it didn't end there. She caught it and as her hands were in the air another girl in a red vavavoom dress grabs it out of her hands so hard that some stems were even left in Katie's hands. Turns out, this girl is in Roller Derby. (for the uneducated, Roller Derby is like WWF on roller skates) Immediately people ran up to Katie telling her that they had proof on film that she had actually caught it. She was a bit upset and days later was still talking about how it was stolen from her.

So that was the wedding. I guess that wedding would be boring if interesting things didn't happen. Probably the only way to avoid such stuff is to elope. Not a bad idea...