I'm Going on Welfare

Just kidding.
Job hunting is such a chore. First of all, why is it that all these businesses aren't coming crawling to me begging me to work for them because they have heard of my great fame? Maybe I've just seen too many lendingtree.com commercials. But really, I would like to know how it is possible for me to turn in an application to a company that is hiring, that I meet all their qualifications, that I have work experience, and have only 4 hours of the ENTIRE week that I cannot work and yet they never even call me in for an interview. Even more frustrating is that I am usually inquiring of some pierced up, green haired weirdo where the manager is. I am beginning to think that in order to get a job I must have a streak of purple in my hair and wear all black. They just don't hire normal people, oh no, they couldn't do that, that would mean they would be discriminating against people with blue hair. I AM POOR! SOMEONE PLEASE HIRE ME!