Abnormality

This is about The Day Before Yesterday. The Day Before Yesterday was a very abnormal day. I spent the midday with an old highschool friend. (abnormality #1) We went to Rep. Elton Gallegly's campaign office to volunteer.

Later that day I took Duke, the duck, out to let her play, but the pond had a big chunk of chlorine in the bottom. So I thought about it for a little while and then decided that I'd just let her splash around in the pond while I was watching and then put her back in her cage. Well all of the sudden, she dives down and goes right at that chlorine tablet. She comes up and so does a smaller piece of the chlorine, and she is rubbing her face. So I grab her out right away and put her in her cage where she starts trying to clean her face in her water bowl. I'm totally freaking out. And I started thinking about the possibilities. One big possibility is that she had eaten a piece of chlorine. (abnormality #2) So I frantically ran around the house trying to find the vet's phone number. I couldn't...wait, you say, isn't calling the vet abnormal? well, not in my house... find it (abnormality #3) and finally called information. Talking to the vet, they couldn't always hear me and so I got things like "a cat ate a chlorine tablet and the duck is in the pond?" They even hung up on me once. But finally it was settled, I would have to take her into the vet (abnormality #4, for the duck at least)just in case she had eaten some. So I stuck her in a tub thing and put her in my car. Half-way through the neighborhood she leaps out of the tub and into my back seat. In the process, my car got covered in...well, it was bad. So I stop right in the middle of the road and start trying to stick things over the top of the tub. All the while this group of kids is sitting on their front porch watching me. I get back in and go and discover that I just have to keep my hand on top of her the whole way, but that is no easy task with a stick shift. Then of course I hit traffic. Some car was pulled over to the side of the road and a police car was right behind it. I was in the left lane and all of this was in the right lane. So all the right lane cars were slowly trying to make it over to the left lane. Well as I am driving through, Duke suddenly lurches and so I have to push down harder and she slips, making a bunch of noise. Right at that same time, this girl pull out of her lane RIGHT INTO ME. (abnormality #5) And since Duke was making all that noise, I couldn't tell if she had actually hit me. (weird) So I put on my turn signal to pull over to the side so she can stop too and we can figure out if she hit me. Well she didn't stop and I wasn't able to get out of the car. So I sat there sorta crying trying to figure out what to do as I sit and stare at this duck in my passenger seat. So I start waving to the police officer that was with that car that caused this whole mess in the first place. He just ignores me and so after a couple minutes I gave up and drove away. I finally get to the vet and of course Duke was a hit. I mean, its probably not often (if ever) that they get a duck in there. They took her in the back and gave her some liquid charcole to stop the chlorine from absorbing into her system. I put her back into the car, this time with a pillow case over the top of the tub and that kept her calm. The smell she made in my car was unbearable. This was on Thursday. I have not driven my car since (abnormality #6) and the windows are still rolled down. So Duke is all better now.

I was one hour late for my golf class. (golf class=abnormality #7) I came in and told the teacher that I had just gotten there and he was like, whoa! you are pretty late. And I said, I know, but my duck ate a chlorine tablet and I had to take her to the vet. He laughed really hard and so did everyone who heard. They thought that was the most inventive excuse they had heard in their entire lives. (This was, also, not abnormal. I have had many "most inventive" excuses, and not one of them has been a lie.) He thought it was so funny that he announced it word for word to the whole class, who also had a good laugh about it. Some people actually didn't even think I was telling the truth. Now honestly, how on earth would I think up a lie like that?